Accepting My New Identity

I am terrible at receiving gifts.

I don't know what to say. It makes me feel awkward. I want to say thanks, I really do. But I don't know how. To be honest, I sometimes wonder if I'm really thankful. It doesn't make sense to me. Why am I getting a gift?

I mean, birthday and Christmas gifts- that's expected. And when I earn it- like my Eagle Scout award, or awards, or scholarships- that makes sense to me. I earned it. I worked hard and I deserve what I get. 

However, this idea of a free gift, something given randomly or simply out of love, its hard for me to accept.

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I think this particular trait has carried over into my spiritual life.

It has been a constant struggle in my walk to accept the gifts the Lord has given me in His grace. In my freshman year of college, I finally allowed Christ to forgive me for my past. This summer, I am finally accepting the new Identity he has given me in Christ.

You see, it just doesn't make sense to me. An identity is something I create. I am defined by what I am, what I do, and what I say. I create my identity. It is something I deserve or earn. 

However, the word says that our new identity is in Christ. As I have learned what that means, I have come to understand that we literally inherit all of Christ's righteousness. We are granted his perfect life, his perfect reputation, and his perfect love in the eyes of the Lord. 

This is where I hit a snag... I didn't earn that. I have not lived a perfect life. I am very far from righteous at times. It doesn't make sense for me to have the identity of Christ. It doesn't seem fair.

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But isn't that what makes Grace so beautiful. While I am broken and sinful and far from perfect, the Lord has given me an identity that is wholly and completely righteous. Is it fair? No. Grace and Mercy have never been fair.

That is the beauty of the gospel, that we are allowed this new identity because the Lord loved us enough to satisfy His justice on His son, rather than us. But His Son was more than just a man, but fully God as well. Because of this, He was able to conquer death and give us His identity. 

This has been something that the Lord has been teaching me a lot this summer. As I have grown in my understanding of my identity, it has affected my understanding of manhood, how I deal with sin, heart issues, and much more in my walk. 

Hopefully this has been easy to understand! Haha, I know sometimes a thought process really only works for the original thinker. Be praying for me as I continue to grow and minister in the Clearwater area!